Ten internet memes even your momma should know

Not pictured: God's disapproval

Let's be real, some of you all are posers. Not even the kind that can fake it very well. You know how to surf for porn, but, honestly, who can't. But do you truly understand the "world wide web"? How can you even reference an idea steeped in pop culture without having to explain it to everyone? Ever heard of a meme? No? Ha! Poser.

In case you missed it, everyone is in the mist of the formation of a new internet meme. Now in case you missed it at the MTV Video Music Awards (the truest definition of an oxymoron), Kanye West's newest ego, Doileyhead Crazy Horse, decided to tell everyone who would listen how his opinion is awesome and reinforcing the idea that the only thing that scares a frail, white woman who sings country music is a drunk, black man charging after her taking what's in her hand. Now this sensation has spawned one of the newest internet memes. So this seems to be the perfect time to introduce (or reintroduce) you interweb newbies the electronic hilarity every other virgin is in on.

1. 300

This is madness. This is blasphemy! THIS IS THE MEN'S ROOM!

Ok, so using a movie as a meme is sort of an easy formula. Blood, guts, malformed chicks with boobs, and abs that make women and gay guys care about a movie featuring blood, guts, and boobs. What puts it over the top is great quotes such as "THIS IS SPARTA!" and "Tonight we dine in Hell". It is only as good as all the photoshopped pictures involving King Leonidas and the movie quotes. As of now, it looks as if the Kanye meme will follow the 300 template.

2. It's A Trap

Of all the lines to come from this Trilogy, I would have put money on "Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf Herder." or " They shut down the main reactor. We'll be destroyed for sure. This is madness." (to which now you would reply, "THIS IS THE EMPIRE"). However, you'd be wrong. Typically this is found in social websites like Reddit and Digg where it usually is a comment about things involving, well, a trap.

3. Three wolves and a moon

A must for all Duran Duran fans

This is a typical story of many unimaginative Midwesterns whose hobbies are making jewlery out of rhinestones, collecting dream catchers, and daydreaming about being animals. But how can you cash in on this? By putting it on a shirt and selling it on Amazon.com of course (it's one of the top selling apparell item on Amazon in 2009)! I hear wearing this shirt can do many things, such as making hot dogs taste like filet mignon, cure jock itch, and grant you the ability to communicate with badgers through telepathy! It's probably a good thing that continued existence of the internet is fueled by cheese.

4. PedoBear

The unofficial mascot of NAMBLA.

The origins of this meme is as elusive the popularity of the Jonas Brothers. By all accounts, it appears to have started on 4chan, an imageboard website where people were have said to link the pedobear image (thought to come from an anime that has a "child friendly" bear) to pedophilic images posted by other anonymous posters. And much like the video of Lady Gaga's penis "joke", it spread like wild-fire. It even spawned it's own clothing line. Because nothing threads the needle of hilarity more than looking like a guy who is proud of an internet meme or someone who says "screw it, I like children and I'm tired of hiding it" than wearing a PedoBear shirt...or a Roman collar.

5. Rickroll

Holy crap!!! Can you believe what she said!!! Crazy, you just got Rickrolled. Be honest, you listened to the whole thing didn't you? It was such an internet sensation of tricking people, that the fans of the New York Mets decided to Rickroll the organization when they put up an online poll on what the new seventh inning stretch song should be. Probably the only time fans of the Mets had a good time since 1986.

6. Keyboard cat

Is not the same as being Rickrolled. It's more of a modern day way to take to hook and pull someone off stage after a gaffe. Anyone who has been to a Woot-off! has probably seen it. The cat's name is Fatso and this clip is so popular, it even spawned it's own website! And in case you are keeping score: the keyboard cat>>than anything you have ever done....EVER!

7. Leeroy Jenkins

"As old as the internet" as some would call this, but it's still surprising people don't know about ol' LEEEEEROOOOOY JENKINS! It combines the computer game, World of Warcraft, that the basement dweller, chronic-masturbating nerds love so much with the assholeness of most gamers. Why is it hilarious? To quote Sun Tzu, "The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses has some asshat rush in and fucks it all up"...or something like that.

8. Nannerpuss

Another in a long line of great ideas from the makers of Moons over My Hammy. Except for the fact that the nannerpuss is infinitely cooler than a free Grand Slam breakfast. The only thing stopping nannerpuss from becoming our Breakfast Overlord is, of course, bacon. Oh, and FYI, while your grandmother was making commercials, my grandmother was making me the mother fuckin NANNERPUSS!

9. O RLY?

Not pictured: That turd with the lightning bolt scar.

We all know now that sarcasm does not translate well to the written form of English. Nor is there better ways of calling BS to some who is either stating the obvious or outright lying on internet posts (isn't that right you illiterate dipshit?). Well those sociopaths at 4chan one day were trying to figure out the word filter replacement and discovered repost=owl. Soon, a snow owl image from wildlife photographer John White was photoshopped with the saying "O RLY?" as a show of sarcasm, presumably because even in 2001, people where already bored with using LOL, JK, and that stupid winky face.

10. You're with me, leather

"He..could..go..all...the...way"...into your pants

Sure, I could have went with more popular ones such as "more cowbell", "the cake is a lie", anything with having to do with Chuck Norris, or "all your bases are belong to us". However, none of these really embody the douchiness that is Chris Berman. The story goes (as reported to Deadspin) that a gentleman was hitting on a good looking woman in a bar wearing leather pants (apparently, she just got done dancing in a Winger video) and a leather jacket draped over the back of her chair. Things were supposedly going well until Berman, who was in town covering spring training, walked up to the woman and said "You with me, leather". The woman, recognizing the ESPN personality, immediately grabbed her jacket and left with him to presumably get him drunk and steal his kidney because honestly, look at him; NutraSystem doesn't make you younger or more attractive. While you would think this would make anyone sound cool (except for any chick who would service a guy who sometimes wear a turbin along with wearing out terrible catch phrases and nicknames), but apparently he and ESPN are a bit defensive about it. Now the term is more about self absorbed people doing self absorbed things, regardless of how many kidneys they have. Certainly some will be glad for when he finally goes back, back, back, back, GONE!...from TV.